Oops

I was adding a few links last night and today when I started adding this post I see that most of my links are gone. What in the world is going on? *sigh* I don't even half of those sites bookmarked because I just come here and click on my links. :( I'll have to deal with it later. I don't feel like messing with it right now. Sorry if you have disappeared from my blog. I'll get you added back later.

I'm having a rough day today. Today is the day when everything starts getting back to the norm and I've had too much time to think today. Brooke left to go back to school, I took Jonah home and now reality is sinking in. My granny is gone.

I've been thinking about heaven for most of the day and there's probably no point in my trying to explain what has been going through my head because I would just confuse everyone. I'll just tell you that I'm going back and forth between wondering what she's doing up there, and if she can see me down here. I'm not sure what the Bible says about that really. I guess I can go check. I know there's supposed to be no sadness in heaven, so if she looks down here and sees that I'm sad, wouldn't that make her sad, too? So are there no glimpses of her family? Does she know that I think my heart might literally burst from the pain of knowing she's not here? Because that's how it feels.

I'm really, truly not trying to depress everyone to the point where they're looking for rope to hang themselves with. :) I just feel maybe like I'm being crushed, that's all.

I had a great time with my nephew and really didn't want to take him home. He's so funny and reminds me so much of his daddy (my brother). Funny thing when he's here though: I constantly call Cain "Joseph," (that's my brother) the WHOLE time. I don't know why. Isn't that odd?

Every where I've walked today I've found a penny. I told Marshall to pick one up for me because I had my hands full. I said, "There's a penny from heaven from my grandmother, can you get it?" He knew that was the fourth or fifth one I found in just a matter of hours so he said, "Do you think you might can get her to throw down a couple of hundred bucks or something?"

:) Have a good night. And really, I'll be back to my normal, mundane, boring blog soon. :)

To my buddy Tammy: I'm so sorry I didn't make it today. I just don't feel like I want to be around anyone right now. I love you though!