Things

I took a picture of this "old" picture of Cain and Brooke sitting in the leaves at my grandparents home on the mountain. I remember having to beg them to quit rolling in the leaves for just a couple of minutes so I could take a few pictures. They weren't too happy about it, hence these grouchy-looking smiles. I wish they were this little again. We had a lots of fun because usually they enjoyed the same things.

I learned last night that my Uncle Tony, who I have previously mentioned, has liver cancer with no hope of any recovery. He went to a cancer specialist yesterday and found out that the cancer is so far progressed that there is nothing they can do. He was told he has just a few months to live. The only thing they can do is medicate him and make him as comfortable as possible.

My uncle didn't want to go to the doctor initially because he was terrified that what he had would be life-threatening. The first time he did go, just a couple of weeks back, he found out he had cancer, and just yesterday he finds out that he is dying. I'm not sure what to think about that. I don't know how long he has been hurting, but I do know that he knew something was wrong for a while. I'm sure his thoughts are that he DID go to the doctor and that his worst fears were confirmed. I'm sure he's wishing he'd have never gone to the doctor.

I can't imagine life without him. He is my mother's brother and we are all very, very close on that side of the family. He is the funniest person that I know and we have always had a special relationship. I just cannot even fathom that there is a great possibility that he won't be here for Christmas, or for my birthday in March, or for the birth of his grandbaby at the beginning of next year. He's only in his early 50's, for cryin' out loud. It's not fair. :(

One good thing about it all is that he was saved a few years back and has dedicated his life to God. That makes me feel so good, even if right now I just want to hide away from the world and think about all the why's, and what if's. :(