Say What?!

Ok, here's how it goes: I called my doctor's nurse this morning and left a message with her to see if they had any samples I could have. I have been taking the same acid-reflux/hiatal hernia medicine for years now and it has always done a fine job. Until now. For the past few nights I have jumped straight up from a sound sleep, choking nearly to death. It's very painful, and for those of you who have this same problem, you know how it tastes and how it burns. It's awful.

So anyway, I call the nurse, tell her that my medicine is no longer working and ask her to call me if she has any samples of any thing I can try before I go spend $40 on a Rx that may not work. A few hours later the nurse (whom I JUST love) calls me back. Here's our real conversation, after the hellos and how are yous and whatnot:

Nurse: "I don't have Prilosec or Nexium samples but I do have samples of a new medicine you can try. It's called AcipHex and..."
Me: *stifling what's going to be a horrible case of the (very inappropriate) church/funeral home giggles*
Nurse: "...I'll leave them in a bag for you up front and you can pick them up. *long pause* Are you laughing?"
Me: *still giggling the whole time she's speaking* "Huh? Oh, well um, what did you say they are called?"
Nurse: "AcipHex...*another long pause* ...ohmygoshRachel, A-C-I--like 'Acid,'-P-H-E-X...."
Me: "Yes, but you SAID 'Asseffects'..." *laughter*
Nurse: *silence* "Well....*giggle*...yeah, Asseffects."
*laughter on both ends*
My friend Kandi in the background: "Ask her what kind of effect it HAS on your A$$...maybe you shouldn't switch after all."

*LMBO*

I thank my nurse and hang up. She'll probably never give me another sample ever again. Ever!