Sunday, September 03, 2006

My Grandmother

This is my newest cousin, Zoey. I met her for the first time today and she's almost six-months old. Isn't she adorable? :)

I went to see my grandmother today; my mother's mother. I haven't seen her in three months. My mother called me a few days ago and told me that I need to come and see her and that I needed to prepare myself.

My grandmother is in the final stage of Alzheimer's disease. She's 83. I thought that I had prepared myself. I thought I was going to be fine. When I saw her today I lost it. I walked out of her room, composed myself and went back. She is nothing but a skeleton. You can see every single bone in her body. Seriously, I've never seen anything like it. Well, I take that back. She looks like a survivor from a concentration camp. It's awful. I'm not sure how she's even alive. I absolutely could NOT believe it. Funny thing though, she hasn't talked much sense in well over a year. But she instantly knew who I was. She hasn't known me in a while. She knew me then though. She knew Joshua, my cousin, and she even read his shirt. :) We couldn't believe it.

My mother and I got her up so she could eat her breakfast and she did eat a little. She talked to me and Brooke the whole time but hardly made any sense. I put lotion on her feet because she told me they were dry, and she would say things like "I want y'all to save each other," and "Please, Daddy."

We helped her back to bed shortly after she ate. I stood in there and brushed her hair and talked to her for a long time. We talked so long that she finally said, "Get out of here and leave me alone." LOL She talked a while more though and I was glad because who wants to leave it at "Get out of here and leave me alone"? (o= She said, "Do you know how much I love you?" and I told her that yes, I did. It broke my heart. I kissed her goodbye, Brooke kissed her goodbye and we let her go back to sleep.

There's so much more I could say about her. She was my everything when I was a child. I stayed with her more than I did my parents. When my mother started living the wacky world she lived, I stayed with my grandmother 90% of the time. I can't believe that it's almost time to tell her goodbye, but I hope that the Lord takes her soon. She deserves better than to lay there and suffer.

I cried for a while today and got a lot of it out of my system. My heart is broken but my spirit is good, so no worries.

When Brooke and I got home I cleaned the kitchen and started cooking. We had ribs, grilled chicken, baked beans, salad, and potato salad. It was yummy. It's been a good Labor Day weekend.

1. Wiggle: Worm
2. Face: Off
3. Adjustable: Straps
4. Room: With A View
5. Easy: Off
6. Store: Staples :) (I love office supplies)
7. Maid: Wish I had one.
8. 9 p.m.: Time for Deadwood
9. Challenge: Cleaning out my closet
10. Debt: Wish I wasn't drowning in it!

Have a good night. :)


Southernwoman said...

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. I'm glad you were able to see her and that she recognized you though.

I'm sending you a big mental hug!

jen said...

Big hug from me too!

Deb @ Sugarfused said...

Rachel, I'm sorry to read about your grandmother's condition but I'm glad you had such a sweet visit and I'm sure she enjoyed it very much :))

Anonymous said...

Hey Rach, you know I love you and if you need anything at all just call. Love you.

Anonymous said...

::hugs tight::

I'm really glad that you've had this time with her and that she recognized you and said the things she did.

rachelpennington said...

Thank you all very much. She's an angel and I'm so happy that I got to spend time w/her.