Sunday, August 20, 2006

Very Sad :(

Here's Brooke and Cain being silly this morning. They were playing on roots that crossed over a small ravine. I'm not sure why the goofballs wore pants; it was early but already almost too hot to stand.

Brooke left about 3 hours ago and I've been crying on and off ever since. I'm not kidding when I tell you that it seriously feels like my heart might break right to pieces. I don't know why in the world I can't get over the pain and sadness I feel when she leaves. I'm probably going to call my doctor tomorrow to see if they will call me in some anti-depressants. :(

I know that I'm no more special than any other mom, and I know that probably every mother goes through this Empty Nest Syndrome stuff, but I never in the world imagined how hard it would be for me. Yes, she's been gone for over a year now, but each time she comes home and then leaves again I can barely stand it. At least now, for the most part, I'm able to hold off crying until she leaves. This time I hardly made it. I started as soon as she pulled out of the driveway and just stood there sobbing in Marshall's arms. Heck, I'm crying as I type this. :( I really am going to call the dr. This can't be normal--which was the point I was getting to before I went off there...

Anyway, no one ever told me to get ready for this. No one ever said "Hey, you might want to start preparing yourself." You raise a child and are with that child every single day for over 18 years and then one day they are just gone. How are you supposed to just be ok with that? I need to know. :(

Good grief, I'm sorry this is so depressing, but the sadness is just dominating my every thought. I'm telling you right now, if you have a child at home with you, make sure that you enjoy every second. Even those days when you want to pull your hair out, enjoy it, relish it. It'll be over with before you know it. :(

1. Cruel: Don't Be (Cruel)
2. Jive: Shuck & (Jive)
3. Weak: Kneed
4. Understand: Got it?
5. Bum: Bummed out :(
6. Stairs: Up
7: Tone: Wish my body was...
8. Quickly: Move it!
9. Moment: Steal a...
10. Beating: people at Uno is one of my favorite things to do. (o=

6 comments:

Southernwoman said...

Don't cry, Sweets! Kids always come back...just ask my parents.

If you feel like your tears are more than temporary moments, then yes, talk to your doc....otherwise, I wouldn't recommend meds....the side-effects aren't always pleasant. I can recommend some herbal remedies though if you need them.

d.d. said...

my mother weeps everytime i leave her house to fly back home, and it breaks my heart too. she misses you as much as you do her, believe this 20 something when i say it's hard for both sides, still, i hope you feel better ....

jen said...

Hell, I recommend meds. Actually talk with your doctor and find out what may be best for you. Some of them do have really nasty side effects.

Anonymous said...

i can honestly tell you that this is one of the very reasons I didn't go off to college when I should have. I knew my mom would be just like you, and I would be just as bad.

::hugs::

Val Ewing said...

Rachel, yes it is normal to cry like that. You love your daughter and it is heart rendering to see her go each time.
My boys are 25 & 27. I still ache in my heart when they visit...and then leave.

Ledford Photography said...

Wow - talk about a guilt trip... poor Brooke